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I Figured Out Why People Tend to Obsess Over Me

I’m emotionally unavailable.

It’s common to lack love in an alcoholic families.

Learning the reasons why I do what I do is easier than I thought. I don’t work on it every day.

Though I have bouts of emotion it was impulsive and I acted on whatever I was feeling. 

I’ve learned to practice reasoning lol. FINALLY!

I had a great revelation about anxiety. Most (if not all) of my worries are born in my imagination.

So when I start thinking things that freak me out (to the point of a psychotic episode sometimes lasting years).

I remind myself that there are no facts to back up my thought pattern and I do something I like to do to put my fear out of the equation.

I think I do this to myself because growing up I knew there would inevitably be a problem no matter what I did.

I was accused of things I didn’t do. Some little thing could cause an explosion. It rarely coincided with my actions.

There are days I feel relief that they are dead and can’t torment me. Yet I’ve been tormenting myself by my thought processes.

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meandering life

Who knows what lies around the bend


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