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Writing A Book About Me is One of the Hardest Things I’ve Ever Done!

I’m rehashing things I really need to deal with. I’ve been wanting to get my heart right before God and so forgiveness is important. What I really want is the relationship. I love when I have that close feeling that the Lord is right here. Sometimes I feel it and sometimes I don’t. I guess that’s when I was in faith? I would like to establish an everlasting connection with my Creator. I have the hardest time focusing on just sitting still before the Lord. Be still and know that I am God. I’ll do that for about five seconds and I’m doing something else.

I’ve overcome! Has the Lord let me live for some reason? I only wish I knew. I don’t seem to help one soul out of hell even though I have a big desire to do that.

I’ve never seen Heaven or Hell. I did have a born again experience. At one time I thought I was born again but I was so shallow.

God sees and knows everything about me so there’s not much to hide. I used to think this very thought when I would  have a psychotic thought that people were watching me. So I would do things that I didn’t care if everyone knew. The world would be so much nicer if everyone were just open, honest, minded their own business and did their own thing.

I’ll never understand why people complicate simple matters. Even if the truth is uncomfortable it’s worth it. Of course, I found myself telling this girl (who I know doesn’t like me) I liked her green hair and it was a total lie I just wanted her to be nicer to me and she is. She used to be real snippy with me. So I guess that was false flattery. Well, I’ll have to repent of it and not do it again. I’m not going to say something to her like I think your hair should be blue although I’d like to.

Something tells me to leave that one alone.

My book is not going to be all about God so I don’t think it would be considered a Christian book. There is stuff about God in it though mostly questions.


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meandering life

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