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My Kid’s were sexually Abused at three and five They were Having Intercourse With the Babysitter who did the same at home with her step daddy

Well, they’re lives have been a mess. Christopher’s like slow and he peed the bed until early teenage years. They were really messed up but I never knew it. Freddy, my oldest confessed to me one day when he thought he couldn’t be faithful to one woman even if he loved her. I really think he’s finally passed that. Thank God!!!

Well, my daughter Brianne (we call her Bri-she spells it Bre. I just think the “i” has so much more class.

People teased Christopher because he was slow. It broke my heart.

Then when Freddie told me about the sexual abuse everything kind of came together. I was married and forbidden to work my that animal I was married to. I’ve never had a person who was supposed to be so close to me as married he was so completely cruel to me. My daughter says Marsha did the best she could. I felt bad that I was so bipolar on him in a way even though he was truly evil to me. Once he asked if I’d ever go back with him I said if you were me would you go back with you? That was the last conversation we ever had about anything like that. Then he treated me if a sexual way even when he knew I wasn’t into it that much. After you take a few hits sex is the first thing to go.

I think I have an inability to love, My dad drank all the time and my mom was a binger. So basically, I was hated and resented from birth.

grass

I’ve decided the man I’m going to be with has to get along with me without petty fights!!! I’m hoping on this one guy that’s older and sorta settles but he still goes out and has fun 🙂

Well, I’ve decided to write down in what I want to a man. Martha Stewart mentioned something on the Wendy Show. she specified some things she wanted in a man and I agreed with some of the things she said.  I am totally disinterested in having a man in my life. I don’t need the problems. Except for this one guy. He’s older and really wise 🙂

So sorry I’m not consistent in this blogging. I really want to plan my time better so that I can add more writing and do some article marketing.

I’m reading through these free psychology courses and lectures. There’s are good schools like Yale, Harvard, MIT, Stanford. I LOVE it!!! I’m planning to take the Corsica study but I’m getting prepared. It excused me. I have to balance my energy so I don’t get bored. So I read through the neatest stuff first lol. Then it gets boring and I slow down. I do much better with a teacher to kind of hold me accountable and plan my time for me.

I’m still struggling with time management. In fact, for about three weeks I totally gave up on it!!!

I really love to blog I don’t know why I don’t so it more!!!

I’ve been obsessively following bitcoins and USD. I think I want in on that market!!! I notice some people will go to those sights and offer these sketchy idea’s. They are the takers and sell books how to steal money.

I still think you need to carry yourself with some dignity. I don’t mind the cheap ones. Lol, I might even buy some of those. But not those ones about how to get money from someone else’s account. I mean who are we if we don[t have integrity??

OK, I’m sorry for my absence and hope you haven’t forgotten about me.

Take care everyone and be happy for the day! I try to start my days off with positive things. I listen to Charles Stanley and Our Daily Bread every morning. I missed it today though on top of forgetting to take my antidepressant. I hate when I do that. It really affects my moods.

The Lithium is going well. I only take one a day. I was peeing blood today. My Dr said we were going to do a Lithium level and all that next week so…

It feels so good to blog! I hope everyone’s good.

I’ve been so into myself and studying psychology and stuff I don’t stop for days at a time. Then I become overwhelmed and have to take a break. That’s why I need to work on my scheduling. So I can make myself get through the boring parts like how your brain psychically reacts. It might well have something to do with the conflict and time restraints. I don’t know lol!

See ya everyone!! I miss you but I can’t think outside myself lately. I’ll be back, though! I love to blog!

Hope the snow’s not getting to you. We’ve been having a mild winter so far. Which I’ve managed to sleep to. I just happen to be awake the days it’s snowing and cold and have to shop!!! With my red cart lol!!

May the angels come and visit and have fun with you too 🙂

I forgot to say the effects of sexual abuse on my daughter. She lost her virginity as 12!!! After I told her over and over what happens when you do that. She isn’t very domestic and I’m the only stable thing she has ever had in her life. She just seems to float along. I always had a place we could call hope. Thank God!

Anyway, she always chooses people who are dangerous. She likes constant action and I’m boring!

She has these fits where she goes off sometimes. I believe she needs to go to a psychologist and be diagnosed. She has that offense defiant disorder. She’s really little and skinny too so when she starts hitting me I just put my head down. I did tell her that one day that was going to get old. She was like yeah you could ever do anything. I reminded her of the time I took down the bully. She shut up and that was actually the last time she went off on my like that. I hope we’ve come to a peace I love her so much!!

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