It stems from a silly superstition. It runs me and I can’t take it anymore. I have to get over this!
My grandmother, Mom (that’s what we called her). Mom and Pop. She was short and was always nice to me. That was a feat in itself. Everyone seemed so hell bent on hating me in my “family”.
We used to play Old Maid all the time. She was a true believer that if you used the last of something it was wrong. Like, don’t take the last of anything in the fridge, don’t be the last one with the card…
These superstitions have affected me and not in a good way! Here’s an example of how wrapped up I am in the last thing I do now.
I have a major fear that something is going to happen to one of my kids. I worry about them incessantly.
So if I see something where someone’s dying it really freaks me out! I have to watch the whole thing! If I don’t it will be unfinished and that brings bad things.
I’m reading about the death row inmates in Arizona. My friend had me do a search and I started reading them all. It got to the point where I felt if I didn’t read about every single inmate something terrible would happen. The psycho killer will get my kids!
This is silly! I am wasting all this time on death row inmates when I have a million other things I could be doing constructively. So I’m reading about these losers and bored by now but I don’t want to stop because if I do a wild killer will come out of the woodwork and slaughter someone in my family because I didn’t finish a damn article!
I’m going to trust that my kids are in the hands of God. I have to let this go. It’s unhealthy. I don’t need it anymore. It’s crazy! I’m adding stress to my life because I choose to believe in my outrageous imagination.
IT’S BASED ON FEAR
Merriam-Webster says it like this:
Simple Definition of superstitionPopularity: Top 30% of words
: a belief or way of behaving that is based on fear of the unknown and faith in magic or luck : a belief that certain events or things will bring good or bad luck
Full Definition of superstition
1a: a belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance, or a false conception of causationb: an irrational abject attitude of mind toward the supernatural, nature, or God resulting from superstition
2: a notion maintained despite evidence to the contrary
Fear of the unknown. BIG mistake. I don’t have to fear. I have such a peace in my life in so many ways.
The only thing I know I need to fear is God! He holds all the power! This is my core belief. This sets me free from all fear.
2 Timothy 1:7King James Version (KJV)
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.