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Why I Shun Intimate Relationships

 

I have absolutely no interest in being in a relationship. People really don’t relate to this at all so I thought I’d try to give a little insight.

I do not initiate friendships. It’s not who I am. I let other people decide if we’ll be friends or not. I just make boundaries.

The problem is that I am “crazy” so I tend to attract “crazy’s”.

I run into several types:

  • The Contol Freak-they like to try to make me do what they think I should do in my life regardless of what I say, do or believe. They usually get angry at me and dump me as a friend. Some of them miss me and come back in my life and some don’t. Either way, I’m usually pretty happy if and when they dump me. If there’s one thing that’s free its advice!
  • The Religious Fanatic-These characters have more rules and regulations than God!! They can tell me how to live my life and have all the reasons why their way is best.
  • The Know It All-If you have any questions you don’t even have to ask. They’ll bring up a topic only to fight with you to the end no matter how wrong they are. They look stupid much more than necessary…just shut up for Pete’s sake!! This type likes to focus on the most minute things that don’t even matter that’s what bugs me the most about them.
  • The Liar-I think we all run into this type I shouldn’t have to expound on it.
  • The Insecure Type-These people are weak and show it in different areas. They are desperate to impress anyone! You can’t confide in them because they are shallow. They talk about people and usually bad. You know you’ll be next on their list so you have to watch everything you say and do.
  • The Clingy Type-These are the ones that like to take up my time and make me their total support system and convenience store. Who the hell needs to borrow toilet paper????? This is like a pet peeve to me!! If you don’t know by adulthood that toilet paper is a necessity then you probably never will. I am forever getting people who borrow toilet paper, light bulbs, dish soap, bleach, aluminum foil, my potato masher, mousse…I mean, please!! And they don’t borrow it one time they make it a weekly thing. To top it off they want you on call every time they need an intense pep talk.
  • The Self-Absorbed Loser-This type likes to go into detail about some recurring obsession. They need a psychoanalyst to walk them through their life and point out the mistakes. While I am upbeat and positive this becomes repetitive and annoying. I only tolerate this for short periods, if I can help it.
  • The God-You can’t talk to them other than to follow their lead and continue. They rule all conversation. You can’t give constructive criticism. If you say one thing that isn’t on track with their inflated ego then they’ll get angry. You can’t have anything in common with them. The subject matter is limited because they base everything on their own distorted perception. An interesting conversation isn’t happening. They are out of touch with external realities. They feed their ego with Bull $h*t. Their philosophy is is simple, they are above everyone and matter more than anyone. You can spot them by the way they talk about themselves all the time. They talk about everything wonderful they’ve ever done, how wonderful they look, how wonderful they dress, how they can (or cannot) accept the common man’s nature, how everyone loves them, how the common man does them wrong and how this has affected their lives, what they’ve had to endure because of the common man, etc…

I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Toxic people love me! I am humble and they feel this empowers them to walk all over me. This is where boundaries really help. I am also motivational and inspirational and this they use to their advantage by stealing my focus and directing it towards them. I’ve come to realize how much I appreciate “Me” time. I have drastically limited the time I give anyone.

People who have problems like to attach themselves to me and take me for all they can! I have them everywhere I go, always! There is, at least, one person, who clings on to me with all they can as if I can actually help them.

I attract so many wackos it makes me wonder how sane I am. The lunatics crawl out of the woodwork! I keep an emotional distance. I like a clear head during these [altercations?]. Nothing like feelings to blur a matter.

Since these types (and more) attach themselves to me for dear life I’ve had only one option. Prepare a defense.

I’ve learned to adjust by keeping everyone at a respectful distance. This is the number one rule in my life.

I also set boundaries and become assertive when I need to. Sometimes I have to revisit and reestablish boundaries. My boundaries often change as I get to know a person, but I generally keep people at arms length. I don’t have a physical support system. I draw upon my ability to self-motivate. Eventually, I may need to establish a better support system. I have a number I can call to a mental health group or, if nothing else, I can always go to church. At this point, I’m just taking one thing at a time and social anxiety is not something I’m addressing yet. I have to get myself straight before I can even think of adding someone to the mix.

Don’t get me wrong I do love my family and friends but everyone I know lives in another state.

I just like to keep myself in check 😉

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6 comments on “Why I Shun Intimate Relationships

  1. I am always suspect when people want to stay around. I mean bipolar isn’t the most stable of illnesses for people to hang with. You must like abuse if you are still around after a manic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree when someone has seen me in all my glory I am very suspicious of their motives if they stay around. I also question their sanity. Ironic I know…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is but really??? I live the weird stuff my brain throws into my life and I am like seems legit. Let’s do this. Why would someone one take on the instability by choice?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s going to take more than love for someone like me! It’s going to take, understanding, determination and enlightenment??

        Liked by 1 person

  2. noimnotok says:

    It’s good that you’re able to spot these types now, it makes it easier not to get involved with them. Maybe there’s some people out there who don’t fall into any of these categories.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would hope so. I should make one of them my dream person and give the characteristics I’d like to see like confidence, funny etc…

      Like

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