I have acquired a fear recently. I’d say it’s a few years old. I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s overwhelming at times.
My life revolves around this fear when I go out or plan to go out. It consumes me. I think of it constantly and plan my whole life around it!!
I’m totally free from the care of how I look which fits into my plan perfectly. I get all my clothes at a church that gives them away for free. I’ve let go of the vanity I used to have of coveting clothing. Clothes were a big deal to me at one time. I would save money and go to Gabe’s (a cheap store with designer clothes) just to get that pair of Guess jeans.
These days I couldn’t care less. I have absolutely no one I have to please and to tell the truth if they are so focused on how I look I can’t be bothered anyway. I like a little more depth to those I choose to surround myself with.
Anyway, when I pick out clothes I pick clothes that are too big so I look like I’m poor and no one will want to rob me. I have a pair of shoes that someone found in the garbage and gave me and I love them! They’re just a little too big so I can slip them on and off without having to worry about laces. I’ve never been fond of tying my shoes. I have a decent pair of shoes just in case, and one outfit that isn’t dumpy. When I walk in my favorite shoes I kind of have to shuffle. My feet slide in and out of them a little bit when I walk because they’re a little big. This only adds to my illusion making me look all the poorer! While keeping me all the safer!
I hide my jewelry within my ‘too big’ clothes. I sneak and slide my sleeve up to look at it glitter in the sunlight while I’m on the bus if no ones behind me that is. I only wear earrings if I’m going to a “safe” part of town. I have one ring I wear that looks as old as dirt. It’s silver and opal. It has all these nooks and cranny’s so it doesn’t come completely clean and looks cheap!
I am so afraid of someone stealing my purse and running away with it! I wear a strap-on purse that I fit over my body so it’s not so easy to get away from me. I hate it! It’s the ugliest purse I’ve ever owned, but it serves my purpose so I must wear it. I have two favorite purses that I will never use because I am obsessed with this major fear of being robbed!
Be honest what is your biggest fear???