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My Diagnosis is Bipolar, ADHD, Depression

I realized I hadn’t come straight out and said it.

Why did I make this announcement?

When I decided to make a blog I thought a lot about my “voice”. I decided that open honesty was the way to go.

I made A Place to be Real to be totally myself. In doing this I hope I help other feel like they can be totally themselves.

My diagnosis is a big part of me. I deal with this everyday.

I mean I’ve been up for the past two days obsessively posting animal subjects on Facebook. From funny and cute to downright disturbing.

Last night I went through 400 comments making new friends so I have lots of animal friends.

Previously I made hundreds of author friends because I wanted to learn how to write better. Those people aren’t into giving writing tips their into writing books and promoting them on Facebook. I barely even speak to any of them. I read true crime and their into Gothic novels. You know with half naked people on the front by a lake in the moonlight. This just isn’t me.

Before that it was Farmville…

Now will I get bored with this animal rights movement (like I do everything else) and have a ton of pictures of mutilated animals going down my page incessantly? Maybe.

What has me encouraged about the whole animal thing is that I’ve always been into animals mostly dogs even when I was little. So this could be a great building block in my foundation. Time will tell…

And I’m making real friends. It’s fun. But for me everything is fun at first then bam bored!

I’ve actually been alternating between Facebook and my new Twitter (and Google Plus a little). I have over 300 followers already. Most of them useless but it’s a start.

I’ve come a long way with this disorder. But since boyfriend’s been here I’ve pretty much just been winging it. It’s too hard to deal with my issues if I’m always confronted with his. And he has myriads of issues!

He’s moving out the third so I’ll have my life back.

I’m a little nervous about being completely alone. It’s going to be an adjustment. It’s important that I do this though.

I need to establish a routine of some sort. I need to work at getting healthier. I mean all around health. Inside and out. Business and personal. A total overhaul.

I’ll take it slow. Change doesn’t come overnight.

Take Care Everyone!

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10 comments on “My Diagnosis is Bipolar, ADHD, Depression

  1. claire says:

    God bless you for being so honest and straight forward. (To hell with pretending you are something you’re not.)
    I moved in on my own a year and a half ago after always living with others all my life. At first I was apprehensive but along with it came a great freedom to “be myself” and come to terms with who I was, lots of evaluations I’d put off for years. Though I sometimes think it might be nice to have a special someone around, I must say over all I’ve been happier than at any time in my life so far – relieved of all role play and responsibilities I can relax and enjoy my own company. I hope the change works equally well for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope so too. In a lot of ways I’m looking forward to it. I desperately need my own space! We are together 24/7 and I can’t take it!! Among other things he’s a slob!! My house is trashed!!

      I’m looking forward to it in so many ways but I have that looming fear of being so totally alone!!

      I’m not from around here so I’ve made few friends and the friends I have made I’ve decided to distance myself from. They aren’t healthy for me at all!

      So this leaves me with even more “independence”.

      What will I do with my time?

      I thought I’d join a mental illness support group but there are none in the area.

      Thank you for answering me I really needed to express that. I’m actually a little relieved.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. claire says:

        So glad it helped. A writer friend of mine encouraged me when i made the “big move” by saying “you’re not moving out of your daughter’s but in with Jesus”. (I’m a Christian and had been feeling awkward about living with folks who were not so into it as me). But I think the same thing applies really to non believers. As I was able to express my inner self more freely the pros far out weighed the cons.
        As to friends I know where you’re coming from I’d returned to the UK only a year before and most of my old friends were scattered and had “moved on”. I joined a writer’s club and even tried on line dating etc. but the thing that really did it for me was becoming comfortable with myself and who I was. I ceased to care if everyone else seemed to be in groups and couples I just enjoyed eating, looking, whatever it was, immersed in the moment. Since that time my circle of friends has widened considerably but now it seems not so important any more and I actually enjoy my alone times more sometimes.
        Why not try some fitness or nature clubs if you can’t find ones for mental illness support? I have an allotment where I grow veggies and not only is it great for fitness and well being there are also great folks there to chill with.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s great!! I like your ideas I’ll sure consider them!

        What do you do with your time? Do you follow a schedule or just play it all by ear? I’m in the bad habit of playing everything by ear!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. claire says:

        I have a “to do” list to jog my memory and am one of those compulsive organizers (always thinking three steps ahead in my mind) but something I’ve been trying to work on is just letting life flow more (easier when alone, the more folks in your life the more you need to schedule stuff). So I guess it’s a bit of both trying to hit a balance. I’ve lived a life with some heavy responsibilities (bringing up a bunch of kids on my own for one) so it’s been a new concept being free to “be myself” and do those little crazy things that add sparkle to life, taking a spontaneous decision to explore a new path instead of head home, stopping to sit and look out over the lake just because I feel like it, starting painting again etc. Letting the “inner child” come out to play sometimes not worrying what others think.
        I take my grandson to school and pick him up for a few hours till my daughter or son in law get back from work so this adds structure to week days. In between I shop (necessities not a pleasure for me) write, read, paint, and pray. I’m blessed to live very close to 3 lakes so I spend lots of time there on sunny days taking photos, having picnics or just walking. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and realized socializing (parties, barbecues and get togethers etc.) are something I enjoy as an occasional treat but my daily fare tends to be quite solitary, I must be a true introvert but its such a relief to accept that and make no excuses and cease trying to be someone I’m not. Strangely I find I end up making more and better friends this way than when I was trying. I would recommend clubs though, my writing club has been such a blessing and my son found great therapy after a 2nd painful brake up in learning salsa. He made new friends outside the old circle (who were all also friends with his ex) and the lively, positive music and exercise lifted his spirits wonderfully.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That’s great and it gives me hope. I live kind of close to a park that’s on the lake. I need to find a meet up group I can relate to. I was hoping for something on mental Illness but looks like that’s out.

        Thank you for your input I really needed to talk about this.

        I gave boyfriend another month to find a place. He knows he has to go so I’m not too stressed. I am looking forward to alone time (I also raised five kids alone). On the other hand I’m still apprehensive about my future. I want to get a rescue dog but my son wants me to wait until he gets home and we see about traveling.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. claire says:

        So glad it helps. If you take one step at a time, it will all come to pass. I’m always a “do it all” now type but I’ve learnt by experience to take a step, look around at my options, then take another, works better in the long run (and I don’t fall on my face so often lol!) It’s always so exciting starting a new life (I’ve done it a bunch of times.) Maybe it’s good you haven’t found a group allied to mental illness, though that’s definitely a help, maybe you’d be passing up some new interest (like my son and salsa) you might not try otherwise. Hope it all goes well.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Well I’m letting boyfriend stay another month. He’s having trouble finding a place he can afford. He really gets on my nerves I’ll be really glad when he’s out!!

        I have to think of something I’m interested in. I’m a new vegetarian maybe there’s a group for that. I hate to play cards so that’s out. I like to cross stitch although I don’t know if my eyes can do it now. I’ve gotten really into Facebook the past couple weeks and animal rights. There’s always food everyone has some kind of interest in that. Off hand I can’t even think of sometime I’m good at…

        Liked by 1 person

      7. claire says:

        It’ll come, meanwhile animal rights is a good place to start, sounds like you are having lots of interaction there and it’s a good cause to promote.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Yea they are a good passionate bunch of people I’m happy to know them!!

        Liked by 1 person

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